im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
