whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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