the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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