Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My hand turned me down
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
