You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize