I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
