my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He? As in you personified your dick?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
