i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
