you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
