dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize