Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
