yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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