I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
