I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
