DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
