apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Green mimosas i think yes
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
