This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
