and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
