maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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