Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
