He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize