you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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