I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
