i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
