She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
