Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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