I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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