i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize