His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
