just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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