so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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