BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
