All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
