i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Randomize
