Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
