I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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