weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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