i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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