my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
