So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
