last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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