ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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