I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
