how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
