yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
its not stalking. its research.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
