I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
