please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
