I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
