it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
