We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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