What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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