I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
