It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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