yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
