Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Even my vagina gasped.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I AM VODKA MAN
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
