hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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