I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
