O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
