your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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