So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
