so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
