Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
