Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
