you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
