you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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