thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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