Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he laminated a picture of his dick.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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