As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize