Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
