the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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