No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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